Office Etiquette Essentials

by Deborah Schneider

Deborah Schneider, a former career services officer at the University of California, Hastings College of the Law, is a writer in San Francisco. She is co-author of Should You Really Be a Lawyer? The Guide to Smart Career Choices Before, During & After Law School.

Did you hear about the summer associate who had too much to drink and threw up on a partner at his firm's social event? How about the summer associate who got so drunk at her firm's party that she stripped off all her clothes, jumped into the Hudson River, and had to get fished out by the Coast Guard?

Such dramatic faux pas don't happen every day. Still, law school career counselors and law firm personnel report that law students and new lawyers routinely make etiquette missteps during their job searches and at the office. At best, poor job search or workplace etiquette can tarnish your professional reputation. At worst, it could cost you your job or a job offer.

"Today's law students need to mesh their more casual work style with that of older generations of lawyers who are accustomed to a more formal approach," says Sharon Abrahams, director of professional development at McDermott Will & Emery. Abrahams, who works out of the firm's Miami office, teaches etiquette seminars for law students and lawyers across the country.

So, rather than taking behavior cues from The Apprentice contestants, or even from your classmates, use the following dos and don'ts to help guide you as you navigate the law firm environment.

Don't (always) tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth

Of course you should be honest and trustworthy with future and current employers, but being too candid, especially in a job interview, can create etiquette issues.

"Sometimes when students are too brutally honest, they come off as lacking focus and credibility," says Kathy Morris, chief career development officer of Chicago-based Gardner Carton & Douglas.

"For example, some students will come right out in an interview and say that they want to work at a law firm solely as a means to pay off their debt," Morris says. "Or that it makes no difference which firm they work at. That's not what firms want to hear. They want you to research the firm and articulate why you are a good match for them."

While avoiding full disclosure is sometimes appropriate, you don't want to be untruthful, either.

"Don't claim you have a particular interest, like baseball, for example, when you can't even name who's in the World Series," Morris adds. "It's a problem if you're not being genuine, in a job interview or at any other time."

The key, she advises, is telling the truth, blended with advocacy. "Be yourself, but be your best self."

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Don't party like a rock star

"Many workplace etiquette faux pas relate to a summer or young associate's over-consumption of alcohol," says Dan White, an associate at Bryan Cave in St Louis.

Throwing back one too many at a work-related function presents a double whammy—getting drunk is a faux pas in and of itself, and it often leads to more inappropriate behavior, like telling bad jokes, presenting yourself poorly, or making a fool of yourself.
Fortunately, it's easy to sidestep this common blunder.

"The key is to understand that [law firm] social events are not social events; they are work events," says one associate at a large New York law firm. "It may look and feel like a party atmosphere because there's a lot of free alcohol. But the reality is, you are not at a party."

White agrees with the party-as-work theme. "If you're having a cocktail with another lawyer, a fellow intern, or a client, consider it a work meeting," he advises.

Abrahams offers a simple guideline: "Have a drink. Maybe two. Then stop. Or don't drink at all."

Don't eat all you can eat

Here's food for thought: A lot of etiquette problems occur at meals, whether it's an interview lunch or a work-related event.

According to Abrahams, one of the most common missteps is ordering the largest or most expensive item on the menu.

"At an interview or business meal, don't order too much food, like the 32-ounce steak, and don't order the priciest item, like the lobster, unless everyone else is," she cautions. "Excessive ordering makes you appear gluttonous, which reflects negatively on you. Stick with ordering something middle of the road."

Food faux pas can occur back in the office as well. For example, Abrahams recalls several situations where a law firm ordered in lunch. "I've seen summer interns and new associates take three halves of a sandwich and not even eat all of them," she recalls. "Then the sandwiches run out before everyone gets lunch, so not only have the interns or associates wasted food, but they have taken it away from someone else."

During workplace lunches, use common sense and common courtesy. Just take one sandwich or slice of pizza and wait for everyone to get their share before going back for seconds.

Do be clothes minded

Although the dress code in some legal offices has gotten more casual, it can still be a bad idea to dress too casually, either for your job interview or when reporting to work.

Even if your office has casual days, that still means not wearing flip-flops and keeping more formal clothes on hand for unexpected meetings or events.

Abrahams advocates dressing more formally at all times.

"If you dress too casually—say, a polo shirt or a sweater—you risk being mistaken for someone other than a lawyer," she says. "When you dress more formally, you behave more formally. You'll present better and display a greater degree of professionalism if you're wearing a suit than if you're wearing khakis."

Still not sure what to wear to work? "Take your wardrobe cues from other respected attorneys and dress for the job you want," Abrahams says. "It doesn't even have to cost a lot of money if you go to discount stores."

Among women, a less common but equally serious clothing faux pas is dressing too suggestively, either at the office or at after-work functions, notes Kari Glover, managing partner at Preston Gates & Ellis in Seattle.

One particular "wardrobe malfunction" stands out in her mind. "One interviewee wore an elegant skirt to a hiring dinner," she recalls. "The skirt buttoned up the back and persisted in coming unbuttoned further and further without attracting her notice. By the end of the evening, I was consciously walking and standing between her and the more senior male partners at the dinner."

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Do mind your manners

One of the most commonly reported offenses of young lawyers is treating support staff disrespectfully. Treating staff with the utmost respect is not only the right thing to do, but it also can make your work life a lot easier.

"You need the staff's support for everything from finding office supplies to filing court documents," notes Lisa Dickinson, director of career planning at the University of San Francisco School of Law. "If you treat them well, they will look out for you and offer extra help and insider information."

Conversely, if you develop a reputation as someone who is difficult to work with, your work might end up at the bottom of the pile.

One lawyer at a Washington-based government agency points out that support staff may be called on to help evaluate your job performance.

"As part of my evaluation, the firm I worked for as a summer associate asked my assistant what she thought of me," he says. "I hadn't expected that and was doubly thankful I had always treated my assistant with respect and collegiality."

Of course, it's not just support staff you should treat respectfully. It's everyone.

"Use basic politeness," Abrahams says. "Say ‘please' and ‘thank you.' Hold doors for people. Try it and see what a big difference it makes in how people relate to you. You'll get more with honey than with vinegar."

Another important way to show respect for your colleagues is respecting their time.

"Don't be late," notes White, "either to a meeting or with a promised item. Lack of punctuality is a sign of rudeness that tells others that you think your time is more important than theirs. If you know you will be late, give as much advance notice as possible. And if you are late despite your best efforts, don't interrupt the meeting when you enter. Apologize to the meeting organizer and don't do it again."

Do exercise caution with e-mail and voice mail

"Office technology offers plenty of chances to embarrass yourself," notes one associate at a large New York firm. "That's why it's critical to pay attention when you're being shown how to use your office e-mail and voice mail systems."

To help prevent committing the most common, and humbling, technological faux pas, here are some guidelines gleaned from interviews for this article:

• Treat e-mail like a letter or memo. "Realize that what you send will likely be forwarded to others or become a permanent item in the client's file," White says.
• Spell check, grammar check, and review all e-mails before sending them.
• Make the subject line as informative as possible. "Old message headers are often used to find information months or years later, and going through 20 e-mails from one person where the subject line is only the client or project name wastes time that you could have avoided," White adds.
• Organize your thoughts, be succinct, and use line breaks liberally. Format your e-mail so that it scans well, particularly on a Blackberry. If what you have to say requires more than a few paragraphs, write a memo.
• Don't send snippy or derogatory e-mails, and don't send e-mails when you're upset. Don't type in all caps, either, as that's considered "yelling."
• Don't put anything in writing that you wouldn't want to see published in a newspaper. "The wrong e-mail can easily get forwarded around the country," Abrahams warns. "Before you send a message, always ask yourself: ‘What if this got forwarded to my boss?'"
• Always check the "To:" line before sending an e-mail. Check the "Cc:" and "Bcc:" lines as well to make sure you are copying the appropriate individuals.
• Don't let your e-mail address book automatically fill in a recipient's name based on typing in the first few letters of the address. "You can easily think you just sent a message to a classmate about last week's party and then realize that a partner's name that begins with the same letter was automatically filled into the ‘To:' line instead," Dickinson says.
• Unless you've specifically been directed, do not use any pre-established e-mail mailing lists (office-wide, firm-wide, group-wide, or otherwise). "While it may be nice that you brought homemade carrot cake to the office to share with your co-workers, it's unlikely that the entire firm is interested in a slice, or even in the same time zone to partake," White points out.

Many of these same principles—and simply exercising good judgment—can keep you out of trouble with voice mail, too.

For example, don't leave a voice mail you wouldn't want forwarded around your office, or the nation.

"Make your message brief, make it to the point, and, if you plan on taking more than 60 seconds, send an e-mail," White recommends. "If you really need to leave a voice mail that's longer than one minute, warn the listener at the beginning of the message."

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Do watch your mouth

Despite the saying "actions speak louder than words," your words can speak volumes about you. That's why it's so important to be mindful of what you say and how you say it, when you're looking for a job and when you're on the job.

When it comes to the manner in which you express yourself, a common misstep is using language that's, like, too casual.

"The most common workplace etiquette faux pas I've observed among law student interns is using the word ‘like' and other slang words too often," says Karen Doran, an associate at Maduff, Medina & Maduff in Chicago. "When law clerks sound more like high school students than burgeoning attorneys, it is difficult for me to take them, and their work, seriously."

How to improve your language? Doran suggests reading classic books, newspapers like The New York Times, and magazines such as The New Yorker and The Economist.

As for what you say, make sure you think before you speak.

"Even if your office atmosphere is congenial and informal, do not ever make jokes or comments that could be perceived as offensive or inappropriate," says Ellen Fred, an associate at Coblentz, Patch, Duffy & Bass in San Francisco. "You're still in a professional setting and should conform your behavior accordingly. Inappropriate comments tend to stick in people's memories."

That's certainly the case with Glover. "In one instance," she recalls, "I was in a cab with three summer associates who began discussing in explicit detail the sex one of them had with a pick-up date the night before."

Do recover gracefully

According to Morris, Abrahams, and Dickinson, overcoming an etiquette slip-up is a four-step process:

• Address the issue directly and don't ignore it or try to cover it up.
• Apologize to the appropriate individual(s) and acknowledge that you made a mistake.
• Make any necessary amends or take any action needed to remedy the situation.
• Learn from your mistake and don't repeat it again.

So, for example, if you are disrespectful to your assistant, apologize and do something nice for him or her (like bringing flowers or sweets) and don't behave rudely ever again.

Don't beat yourself up too much, either.

"If you're not sure how to handle a particular situation, seek advice from a trusted colleague," Morris advises. "Most importantly, keep your head up, own up to your behavior, and act like a professional. The best lawyers and law students can deal with the hardest aspects of communication."

Doran agrees. "A law clerk who recognizes the problem and takes responsibility to actively remedy it goes a long way in my mind to becoming a clerk I can trust." 

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