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Marketing
Networking
January 2006
For some people, nothing strikes terror or dread into their hearts more than being invited to a “networking” event; or even an event that has a networking component. These are people for whom the term “networking” connotes a series of undesirable activities - cold calls to strangers, handing out business cards, and all things marketing. For others, it seems like nothing more than getting together with friends, colleagues, clients or potential friends, colleagues and clients. But the truth is that it’s probably a little bit of both; and not as bad as you might think if you’re part of the former category. What can you do to make the prospect of such activities a little less painful if you are going to partake, and if you are someone who enjoys the prospect, something more fruitful?
Allaying your fears
First, it might be helpful to get some misconceptions out of the way. For those people who abhor such activities, it is in part because they attach a variety of undesirable expectations to attending such events or activities; be they business or social. Setting expectations both for you and for the event itself may make it more enjoyable. For starters, “networking” has gotten a bad name. The term has almost become a cliché; and with it has come a variety of negative connotations. This is in part, because some people have misused social or work activities as a means of button holing other guests for business, but in reality this happens far more infrequently than you might anticipate. And, if you prepare an escape if you’re cornered it is less likely that anyone will ever really bother you in this way. So decide in advance how you might excuse yourself from an unwanted pitch – or from a conversation that has run its course. This is a wise strategy no matter what kind of event you’re attending. It’s easy to say, “Oh I need to catch up with so-and-so I just saw across the room about a business matter” or “I don’t want to monopolize your time” are both ways that you can move on from a conversation that has run its course. Thank the person for their time, and move on to another conversation. Sometimes you may also find yourself trying to enter a conversation that seems either exclusive, or intense. It’s okay to excuse yourself in this situation as well, and to let the party who you wanted to talk to know that you will find them later during the event.
Give first, listen first
One of the first things you can do to make functions more enjoyable is to assume that you are going to help put others at ease, and to do whatever you can on their behalf. This immediately takes the pressure off you in regard to creating a success for yourself. In fact, you are re-defining success as creating an opportunity to help someone else; not in gathering business cards or generating prospects. You should assume that at least 50 percent of the people in attendance are just as uncomfortable with these settings as you are. Going to the event with the idea of looking out for others and with a spirit of generosity is a great way to put yourself and others at ease.
Although it is important to have a good introduction and to know what you might say to let people know a bit more about what you do; focusing on the other person is often the best way to create a good impression. So think about the kinds of open-ended questions you would like to ask someone that you are meeting for the first time, or someone that you haven’t seen for a while. At this time of year, asking people about their plans for the holidays, possible family gatherings, or travel is easy and makes sense. In all things asked of you, focus on the positive. People like to be around other people who are upbeat and optimistic. Sometimes it is hard to do this when running to an event from a stressful day at the office. On the way to the event, try and shed the ups and downs of the day and think about some of the more upbeat aspects of your work and life.
Making the links
One of the main things that you are looking for at these events is making links between you and others. Covering a wide range of topics is likely to help. Focusing solely on business or social interests doesn’t really offer you the greatest opportunity to make a connection. So be prepared to talk about a variety of topics, with one caveat. Talking about politics or controversial social issues is always a risk – and probably not a good one to take. But lots of other topics are open for discussion, be they work related or simply about the community at large. If you are involved in a not for profit group, social settings and networking events are great ways to introduce your charitable interests to others. If you have taken up a new hobby; it’s fine to share your enthusiasm with others. And both of these areas offer opportunities to learn what others are doing that will generate a shared interest. If you are looking to generate business opportunities, remember that professional services industries have a very long sales cycle. When you first meet someone you are just beginning the process, or renewing an acquaintance. It might be months before anything will come of this contact for business purposes. You have to start at the beginning.
Consequences
One of the first questions that I ask attorneys who are thinking about a career change or job move is “How active is your network? Have you been keeping in touch with people?” Frequently, people who are not enjoying their jobs, or who are struggling to keep their hours up to billable requirements tell me that they have been out of touch with their friends and colleagues. And, they often tell me that they don’t want to “hit their friends up” when they start looking for a job. My answer is always this: “Dig the well before you’re thirsty.”
The time to stay connected to people, to make sure that you are attending association meetings, staying involved in the community and talking with friends, relatives, and colleagues is not when you are looking for a job but when you aren’t. Job hunting is stressful enough without needing to start building professional relationships while trying to look for a job at the same time you’re trying not to send vibes to your current employer that you are job hunting. If you have even an inkling that you might be looking for a new opportunity in the future – no matter how far ahead, building and maintaining your network should always be a key component of your day to day life. While many people look at these events as time wasters, they are in fact a vital part of your career development.
Networking for lots of things
One of the mistakes that people often make when going to a networking event is either not preparing at all, or thinking about the opportunities in far too narrow a manner. Probably the most fun and interesting functions that you have ever attended had little to do with the narrowest ways of thinking about connecting with other people. For me, leaving a networking event with the name of someone who could install new gutters, a handyman or a reliable electrician is an event that I would consider successful. One of the things I try to offer people at such events are good ideas about vacation locations, a decent new restaurant or information about an upcoming art event. What you are looking for is a good connection – and when you find that you have something in common with someone else you will be more likely to find other things that you might mutually enjoy; which ultimately builds trust. So think about your areas of expertise or interest outside of your work that you might be able to bring to the table.
Follow up is key
The people who get the most out of the networking process are those who follow up. When you get to the office the day after an event, or you come home from a conference, in addition to checking e-mail, voice mail, and snail mail, follow-up with those people that you have just met or with whom you have recently re-connected. If you do so, you will be in the minority, and your efforts will stand out. If you have promised an information resource, or a contact name – deliver it. If you have exchanged that famous “we should get together and have lunch” line, call and make the date. The only way to expand your existing network is to build it – one contact at a time. We all get into patterns of behavior (some would call them ruts) that prevent us from making new friends, finding new contacts, or generating new business. When you follow up after an event you are demonstrating follow through and commitment, two attributes that others look for when considering business referral, social interest, or a new friendship.
It’s the beginning of a new year and it’s a good time to try out new things. When you go to networking events remember to help others enjoy themselves. It might work for you too.
About the Author
Wendy L. Werner is the owner and principal of Werner Associates, a legal consulting and career coaching organization.