Some of the greatest lessons in life and law are learned from fathers – or father figures. Commemorating the great mentors in his life, Stewart Levine shares some fatherly advice related to the practice of law and the management of legal institutions.

It's a beautiful warm sunny Father's day as I am preparing this column so my thoughts turn naturally to the idea of fatherhood – how it relates to the practice of law and the management of legal institutions. I want to give thanks to all my fathers and share what I learned from each.

"Father in Law"

The first person I think about when I reflect on fathering and law was my senior partner and mentor, Irving Keith. With Irving it was a case of "love at first sight." I went to work for Irving's firm in my fourth year out of law school. There was something about his presence, the way he carried himself, the attention to detail, concern for people and aspiration for perfection. He was the role model I was looking for, both as a lawyer and a human being. He drove home the following essentials:

• Prepare, prepare, prepare – know the facts and the law of your situation
• It is the client's case – first, take care of the client
• Every action you take is marketing communication
• Treat everyone with dignity, when next you see them, you have no shame
• Maintain a positive attitude
• Love is the fuel that powers the world
• A firm is like a family
• Ask the right person for help, it saves lots of time
• Be true to and listen to your inner voice
• Ethics and integrity above all else – be comfortable in your own skin

The one gem I will always remember was when he took me aside and told me, "always remember Stewart that you cannot unpunch someone!" I always translate that as an admonition that you must be careful of your reactions and always choose your responses based on a desired outcome.

Collaboration

Ed Laird was the first assistant to the Attorney General of New Jersey. I was assigned to Ed as his clerk between my first and second years of law school. It was an eye-opening experience. Ed was in charge of all matters of a highly sensitive and political nature. If you saw it in the news, it would be on Ed's desk. Working with Ed was a great experience and a forceful lesson in the power of collaboration. I was supposed to spend the summer as a rotating clerk but we were both so pleased with what we could do together that I worked for him for the entire summer. From the "Woodstock" of New Jersey, prison guard strikes and implementation of a new "Tort Claims Act," I had the opportunity to play on the front lines.

Military Law

Dean Russell Fairbanks was the professor I reported to for my first year writing project. Somehow I had managed to move through an undergraduate education doing very little writing. I did not like to write – it was a laborious and painful task, especially when it was in an academic context. Russ was a retired Judge Advocate with extensive military law experience. My assignment: write a detailed memorandum of law based on a recent US Supreme Court case (O'Callahan v. Parker) about military court jurisdiction for civilian crimes. My first attempt failed miserably! For years I carried the "red-penned" "F" around as a reminder. But I was motivated by the experience. I dug in, focused, studied and learned about the writing process. I discovered the essentials of knowing what you want to say, saying it in your own voice and being able to step outside, stand in the shoes of the reader, and become a disciplined editor. I always think of the experience when I think of the foundation of my ability to write. When I add to it the experience of "fathering" first year's as student writing editor of the law review, I realize what great training I had in law school.

Being an Owner

I spent two years with a solo practitioner who inherited a firm when the solo he was working for died suddenly. He had two offices. So, at the age of 27 I was the responsible attorney for running a full service law firm. Welcome to the real world.

The Resolutionary

During my second year of law school I had my first "lawyer's" job. I was an intern at a legal services clinic in Camden, New Jersey. On my first day I was handed 25 cases "to work on." This would be my "job" for the semester. Three weeks later I asked the managing attorney for more cases. When he asked about the 25 he gave me, I told him I resolved them. He was very surprised. He asked how I did it. I told him I reviewed the files from a perspective of fairness to everyone, spoke to my clients and called the attorney or agency on the other side and reached a satisfactory resolution when they said yes to my proposal. I knew nothing about being a lawyer! I had no idea whether the cases were difficult, needed to take a long time or had to be handled in any particular way. With a "beginner's mind," I found the solution that worked best for all concerned. Simple? It was for me.

I spent the next 12 years becoming a "successful" lawyer – and becoming less effective at resolving matters and more unhappy with who I was becoming. My mindset was spilling over into my failing marriage and my failing relationships with my partners. Feeling frustrated, anxious and fearful, I stopped practicing law. I spent the next 15 years unlearning – recovering what I knew about resolution when I started, discovering its component parts and learning how to teach and model it for others.

The Lesson: Sometimes you must be your own father and keep yourself on YOUR path.

Judges, Lawyers, Friends, Teachers

Learning is like distance running in that the same endorphins that create "runner's high" are also coursing through you when you are learning. The interesting thing is that we can learn from anyone in any situation if you bring that mindset and perspective. In 1990, Dr. Peter Senge wrote a book called "The Fifth Discipline" in which he posited that people and organizations that will be successful will be "learners" that are part of a "learning organization."

Longfellow?

One of my greatest teachers has been the poet H.W. Longfellow – or so I thought. A few years ago I found the following couplet. When I first saw it I was filled with the understanding that I had developed in dealing with situations of conflict as both a resolver of cases and a management consultant.

If you knew the secret history of those you would like to
punish you would feel a sorrow and suffering enough to
disarm all your hostility.

- H.W. Longfellow

It's about the power of compassion and how important it is to understand the stories of the people we would like to punish – there is always a reason behind what they do.

Michael Ray

The following final piece was shared with me today by my friend Michael Ray, Professor of Creativity Emeritus at the Stanford Graduate School of Business.

Just Like Me

This is an exercise in developing compassion for yourself and others. Honesty with one's self leads to compassion for others. This exercise can lead to a personal sense of peace.

Instructions: This exercise can be done anywhere that people congregate (airports, malls, parks, beaches, etc.). It can be done on strangers, unobtrusively, from some distance. Try to do all five steps on the same person. With attention to the other person, repeat to yourself:

• Just like me, this person is seeking some happiness for his/her life.
• Just like me, this person is trying to avoid suffering in his/her life.
• Just like me, this person has known sadness, loneliness and fear.
• Just like me, this person is seeking to fulfill his/her needs.
• Just like me, this person is learning about life.

Finally

On this Father's Day 2007, I will ask each of you, regardless of gender, to be good fathers of the legal profession. I remember when lawyers were allowed to advertise. I remember when Stephen Brill began evaluating law firms on the basis of earnings and size. I remember when I thought financial success and treating people well were mutually exclusive. They are not. You can have both. It's a matter of following the advice my father gave me – Integrity, Compassion, Care for Others and the mantra:

~ Do What You Love and the Money Will Follow! ~

Happy Belated Father's Day 2007.